British Values Rah Rah Redux

Britain's Head Boy has been having a bit of a burble on NBC. The substance of it, if substance is the word I want, is that ISIS are a Very Bad Thing, that something needs to be done and that somebody ought to do something about it, and that Britain's Head Boy is ready to step up to the plate and stand shoulder to shoulder with the hand of history in defence of free markets and oil companies everywhere. A further outpouring of statesmanship is anticipated tomorrow, when Britain's Head Boy will inform Britain's Muslims that ISIS are a Very Bad Thing: "If you are a boy, they will brainwash you, strap bombs to your body and blow you up. If you are a girl, they will enslave and abuse you." Since Britain's Muslims are all apparently children, let's hope they are duly grateful that Britain's Head Boy is stepping up as Father of the Nation.

Britain's Head Boy will also trot out the standard lecture on British values: freedom of speech unless the Home Secretary disapproves, freedom of indoctrination if you can afford the free schools, equal rights regardless of race, sex, sexuality or faith but always taking due note of income. Britain's Head Boy will also proclaim that turning schools and NHS trusts into unpaid interns for the security forces is jolly empowering actually; and he will wag the finger at British Muslims for not doing enough to support "the British way of life" - that paradise of hard-working families which will soon be purged of such pernicious foreign imports as the National Health Service and the BBC, and has already dispensed with any pretence that the Government is accountable to Parliament should the former decide to toddle off and do a bit of wog-bombing.