All Together Now

Having made a start towards repealing the fox-hunting ban, Britain's Head Boy has turned his attention to the Conservative Party's other favourite pastime: namely Britain's long-term strategic plan or, in Standard English, plotting the next bit of wog-bombing. It will be remembered that Daveybloke suffered some little embarrassment during the last parliament when his attempt to bomb Syria was voted down, partly because he was too complacent to make sure his junior ticks fell into line and partly because he was too small-minded for a bipartisan approach with the Milibeing's very minor amendment to the order to go forth and kill. Once Labour has elected a new leader, the lucky winner will be asked back to the Head Boy's bunker and invited to support a new round of shock and awe, presumably on the grounds that anyone who would sell out Britain's poor is unlikely to sell out to Bashar al-Assad, whom Britain wants removed "as part of a transition to a new broad-based government" or, translated from the journalese, in favour of a thug who will do as he is told. Additionally, the Minister for War and the Colonies believes that as long as we're wog-bombing Iraq it would be illogical not to wog-bomb Syria and, presumably, tomorrow the world. The response of the new Labour leader will no doubt be cautiously co-operative: Randy Burnham will nod and quote Churchill on uncivilised tribes; Yvette Cooper will demand due precautions against Syrian refugees coming over here and taking her job; and Liz Kendall will want to know how soon we can deploy our nuclear option.