There's No Place Like Home

Mere reality may be allowed to undermine the Home Office's faith-based wog disposal policy, thanks to the loony-left bureaucrats at the United Nations. A UN inquiry has concluded that Eritrea is still a very dangerous country, where the government carries out extrajudicial killings, torture, rape, indefinite national service and forced labour on a scale of which Westminster can only dream, and where repatriated asylum seekers are arrested, imprisoned as traitors for up to three years, and "systematically ill-treated to the point of torture". Naturally, the Home Office has recently updated its guidance to advise that Eritrea is a rather jolly sort of place, where you can get away with going absent without official leave if you sign a letter of apology and take a non-entrepreneurial attitude towards the payment of income tax. This assessment is based on a somewhat dubious report by the Danish immigration service; one co-author claims that it was rushed into publication in order to keep Eritrean asylum seekers out of Denmark, which is certainly the kind of motivation with which the British Home Office can sympathise. A spokesbeing has duly proclaimed that "a range of other sources" are used in producing Home Office wog disposal guidelines, but it is unclear what percentage of these sources are the Daily Mail.