Fighting Rape Through Expensive Lunches

Britain's Head Boy's recent burblings about the evils of female genital mutilation gained even more credibility today from the achievements of his recent Secretary for Wogs, Frogs and Huns, Willem den Haag, in ending sexual violence during war. Den Haag teamed up with Angelina Jolie, who may have hoped some of the glamour would rub off on her, and started an initiative in the eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo. A great deal of money has been spent, including five million on a London conference with £300,000 going on food and half a million on hotels and taxis; meanwhile, much to everyone's surprise, rape and sexual violence in the eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo have increased while the number of prosecutions has fallen. Nobody from den Haag's team is based in the DRC, and last year only a single team member even managed to visit the place; Den Haag himself, of course, had more important matters to attend to, such as leading the Conservative Party's bungled vendetta against the Speaker of the House of Commons. Strangely enough, den Haag has now stepped down from his post as "special envoy", just when a Lords committee is about to investigate how much his initiative has delivered.