Beating Back the Arse-Bandits

Popular prejudice to the contrary, it is possible for politicians to have a sense of shame; although admittedly not often about the sort of sins that would afflict the conscience of an actual human being. The Reverend Blair berated himself for the Freedom of Information Act; the sainted Thatcher was doubtless haunted all her life by her failure to hang more miners; and the Conservative Party of the future will most likely repent in sackcloth and ashes because the law allowing equal marriage rights was passed on its watch. In a compassionate attempt to salve his party's delicate sensibilities and appease the itsy-bitsy feelings of the normal-yet-angry, an empty suit at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns has banned his office and Britain's embassies from flying the rainbow flag which symbolises LGBT pride, even though the Cabinet Office is quite happy to be seen underneath it. The empty suit's predecessor, Willem den Haag, also had no problem with the flag; but den Haag was intelligent enough to understand that the rights of LGBT people need not interfere with such vital and virtuous Westminster activities as wog-bombing and money-grubbing, which of course is why den Haag was eventually removed from the party leadership and replaced with Iain Duncan Smith.