The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Return of the Native

Farage Falange F├╝hrer in reverse resignation romp

Cadres of the Farage Falange erupted in spontaneous joy all over the United Kingdom today as it emerged that their beloved Caudillo had been forced to resign from having resigned.

The Caudillo was one of several dozen political leaders to hand in their resignations after Thursday's election victory for the moderate political wing of the City of London. He has now decided to break the mould of British politics once more by not keeping his word.

The Caudillo had argued that it was not credible to lead the movement without claiming expenses at Westminster. However, he has now decided that as long as the Kingdom stands in peril he cannot in conscience permit himself the longed-for luxury of political oblivion.

The party's announcement that the Caudillo's resignation had been officially spurned was greeted with tears of ecstasy across the whole country, except for Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the homosexual parts of London.

Delighted citizens celebrated with acts of spontaneous urination over Polski Skleps and Roman roads, while others toasted the Caudillo's health from Labour-surplus migrant control mugs.

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