Junior Executives Wanted

Some pious chums of Britain's Head Boy are advertising for religious functionaries to dispense divine mercy in a newly expanding economic area where the cuts just keep getting better. No special qualifications are required, beyond a Duncan Smith level of compassion for transgressors and a willingness to work with someone else at the sharp end. Applicants will be expected to work with hands as well as heads, although the presence of hearts and minds may prove disadvantageous, particularly if either should happen to exceed the normal dimensions for faith-based communities such as Westminster and the scumbag press.