Barking Down the Law

The mad old cat lady at the Home Office has been lecturing the Police Federation about how it had better co-operate in the coming apocalypse, because resistance will only hurt more. In a brief lapse into Good Cop mode, the mad old cat lady announced the conversion of police cars into mobile stations, perhaps so that traditional, stationary stations can be converted into affordable housing for all those hard-working families who are struggling to get by on £100,000 a year. The mad old cat lady also wants to reduce the use of police cells to detain the mentally ill, though it is as yet unclear whether the erstwhile detainees will be remanded to the custody of their benefits-slashed, bedroom-taxed relatives (family values) or simply abandoned onto the streets and told to get a job (care in the community).

As to the police themselves, the mad old cat lady does not believe that further cuts cannot be made, which of course quite settles the matter; and she ordered the Police Federation to stop scaremongering and crying wolf. Apparently the Police Federation is full of the kind of irresponsible hysterics who believe that illegal immigrants cannot be deported because of their pets, or who think that accepting 2,309 refugees as part of a European programme would mean the end of the United Kingdom's glorious thousand-year history, or who imagine that terrorism can best be fought by attempting to spy on everyone all of the time.