As Safe as Market Forces Permit

Despite being ever alert to opportunities for a fund-raising panic about lurking terrorists, the Heathen Chinee or the festering Argie threat, the Ministry for Wog-Bombing remains intensely relaxed about the American weapons of mass destruction which it retains at Faslane, a convenient distance from Westminster. A Royal Navy whistle-blower who raised concerns about the shortage of qualified personnel has been "confined to a specified location" and is "being afforded the duty of care", which an uncharitable translator might be tempted to render into Standard English as thrown in the clink and being dismissed as a loony. Meanwhile, the Ministry has investigated itself with all necessary promptitde and rigour; and it appears that, contrary to the whistle-blower's assertions, everything is all right and everyone can go back to sleep - even the Minister for Wog-Bombing himself, who only a few weeks ago was frothing with panic lest a Jewish Socialist conspiracy should sell Britain out to Putin's evil empire.