Targeting Resources

The Bullingdon Club has managed the remarkable achievement of being too callous for Eric Pickles. A squabble has apparently broken out between the Treasury and Pickles' Ministry for Atomisation and Social Cleansing, over the former's proposed removal of local welfare assistance. Not only is this fund designed to provide emergency help for people on low incomes; it has the additional character flaw of being administered by local authorities. Evidently even Eric Pickles is not too thick-headed to be concerned for his place at the trough after the next general election; and Osborne's little orange fag Danny Alexander has been squeaking a bit as well. Both of them want to keep the fund going with £70 million of ringfenced money; but the chancellor has other ideas of how best to court the white working class. Along with the bingo and beer, he has pledged fifty million in an effort to make the England football team slightly less hopeless.