Organic Opportunification

That noted paragon of Conservative entrepreneurship, Michael Green, is apparently trying to break into the organ harvesting business. He is annoyed because there are "three needless deaths a day" through organ shortages, and he has decided that the more expendable among us ought to do something about it. Hence, websites used by state pension and universal credit claimants will soon be upgraded so that, even in the event of a needful death from hypothermia, malnutrition or despair, the deceased scrounger can be of some practical use, though of course only to the deserving. Perhaps some of the party's chums in the private health industry are running short of merchandise; or perhaps some of the party's more discerning donors have ordered a few sweetbreads for the trough.