It Must Never Happen Again, Except to the Scroungers

Evidently Lynton Crosby has informed Britain's Head Boy that Little Ivan's corpse is looking a bit mouldy these days. In search of an alternative source of dead children to climb over, Daveybloke toddled off for a quick ninety minutes in Auschwitz yesterday, and no doubt learned some important lessons. Foremost among them, of course, will be the little matter of who won the war; but Daveybloke will certainly have drawn moral instruction on the need for tighter immigration controls and the deplorable excess of disposable income among the poor and disabled, because that is the sort of moral instruction which Daveybloke draws in most contexts. It is to be hoped that Daveybloke was tactful enough not to make an offer on behalf of Serco or G4S, and that somebody was on hand to translate the slogan Arbeit Macht Frei into a proper language and give him the chance of a quick snigger at the gates.

His conclusion, once he had lit a candle and had a bit of a simper in the book of remembrance, was that "the UK must fight against prejudice, persecution, anti-Semitism and tyranny wherever we find it and stand up for inclusiveness, tolerance and peace", presumably by cuddling up to the Latvian Waffen-SS fan club, helping dictators with their domestic problems and arming Israel to the teeth. A commission has already been set up to decide how Britain should remember the Holocaust and whether it is worth bothering to recall those who ended up in the camps simply because they were not wealthy enough to become legal immigrants elsewhere. The commission will announce its proposals to coincide with the seventieth anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz by Winston Churchill and Lord Rothermere; it is unclear how much mention will be given to the minor contribution made by the Red Army.