Don't Lame Your Ducks Before They've Hatched

Britain's Head Boy may be in for a bit of a ticking off from his Ministry of Wogs, Frogs and Huns, where somebody has just noticed that the promised 2017 referendum on EU membership coincides with Britain's next schedued stint as EU president. Should the Deputy Conservatives retain enough seats in May to prop up the Real Conservatives through a second term, the British government could find itself chairing meetings, forging agreements and leading from the front while simultaneously planning to pick up its marbles and go home or, more likely still, running around in circles and squeaking with panic. The position is made all the more difficult by the fact that the referendum is a promise specifically designed to appease the back-bench baboons on the UKIP wing, and therefore can hardly be subject to the same convenient flexibility as promises about looking after vulnerable citizens or keeping the NHS.