Reckless Assertions

Britain's Head Boy's new ticks and squits monitor has followed up his recent triumph at the big breweries' benefit vote with a bit of a blather on the prospect of more defections to the Farage Falange. Mark Reckless, the Falange's candidate in today's by-election, has claimed that at least two further back-bench baboons are poised to line up and inflate their purple buttocks for the Caudillo; but then Reckless, like Britain's Head Boy, is not above lying to, through and about his own party when prompted by his conscience and the expediency of the moment. Britain's Head Boy's new ticks and squits monitor, by contrast, is one Michael Gove, whose previous achievements in truth-telling are so legendary as to verge upon the purely mythical.