Plausible Deniability

Some stalwarts of the Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club, who swore the thing that was not after a mentally ill black man was restrained to death on their watch, will not be prosecuted for perjury. The Crown Prosecution Service has decided that enough time has elapsed for the men to convince themselves that they believed what they were saying at the time, and one of them has even developed a disease which numbers among its symptoms a pathological inability to self-incriminate. During an earlier, botched investigation of the incident, the men were not pressed about the discrepancies between their testimony and the facts, and the epistemological wing of the Crown Prosecution Service evidently feels that the mists of time have blurred fact and myth into a single, convenient blob of reasonable doubt. Along with several other officers, the men are still under investigation; but it is as yet unclear whether any of them have sufficient melanin or terroristic facial hirsuteness to warrant other charges being brought.