Manufactured Panic: Export UK

The mad old cat lady at the Home Office is dispensing new orders to the Euro-wogs, some of whom still think human rights apply to migrants and other terrorist suspects. Before Britain leaves to set up a surveillance state of its own, Daveybloke's mad old cat lady wants restrictions on free movement, tracking of "suspicious" itineraries, passenger lists handed to MI5, and G4S guarding any road that might conceivably lead to Damascus. Presumably inspired by the brilliant Iain Duncan Smith's famous IT success story, she wants everything in place by the end of the year so that the first jihadi arrests and show-trials can take place in good time for the general election. It is as yet unclear whether Daveybloke's mad old cat lady considers implementation of all this protective democracy to be Britain's price for staying in the EU or the price for finally picking up her remaining marbles and staggering off the international stage for good.