How Could They Refuse?

Calamity! Tragedy! Farce!
However did this come to pass?
Although I do try,
I cannot deny
I feel a chill wind up my arse!

The fiend Salmond's vile agitation
Means Scotland's forgotten its station!
There is one course only:
I'll emulate Tony
And hold a nice Big Conversation!

It's looking distinctively tickly;
My dewlaps are sagging quite sickly.
Let's draw up a plan!
Go, Nicky my man,
And pass me an envelope, quickly!

Albion Britpish