God Preserve Our Sovereign Spooks

Those glorious bastions of British democracy, GCHQ and police spies, could soon be severely hampered in their work thanks to interference by the Euro-wogs. The Bureau of Investigative Journalism has gone to Strasbourg, which is what Brussels calls itself when adjudicating on legal matters, in order to try and overturn the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act, which was passed during the Reverend Blair's first legislative orgasm in 2000. The act allows government-appointed snoopers to identify journalists' sources by sneaking a look at their phone records. Naturally, those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear; but it is thought that some banana-straightening bureaucrat among the Euro-wogs, probably working in cahoots with the Ayatollah Leveson, may have slipped some sort of meddlesome technicality into European law.