Pull It Out and Rub Away

Pious parents in Fremont, California have managed to get a textbook censored for implying that sex can be for pleasure as well as procreation. The book, which is aimed at the upper masturbatory grade of thirteen to fourteen-year-olds, has information on "erotic touch" and sex games such as bondage. The righteous were not slow in ejaculating their concerns, even unto the inevitable scare-word "pornography"; although it is not as yet clear whether the good breeders of Fremont believe that Your Health Today plumbs the same depths of depravity as Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five or the diary of Anne Frank. In what is tactfully referred to as a "compromise", the book has been withdrawn pending various deletions, thereby giving pupils the opportunity to learn about sex from virtuous parents and fumbling classmates, as the Lord in His infinite wisdom decreed.