Creating the Scroungers of the Future

A coalition pledge to provide nursery education for very small proles is being fulfilled after the usual fashion of coalition pledges. The very small proles in question would need to mingle with very small middle-class people from hard-working families, and the resulting moral taint is apparently too much for many private nurseries to bear. Employing the evil public sector, with its platinum-plated pensions for nursery teachers, would of course bring about fiscal apocalypse, or at least something far, far worse than a three-year economic depression followed by a wageless recovery. Nevertheless, the private and voluntary sectors are only providing about 55% of the necessary places; so a spokesbeing for the Department of Gove Without Gove has blamed local councils for not investing in new buildings.