Just When We Were Progressing So Well

A vote for Scottish independence would be a vote against the progressive ideals represented by the Reverend Blair's New Labour and his Glorious Successor's New New Labour, according to Douglas Alexander, who served in various progressive capacities from before the progressive liberation of Iraq through progressive control orders and the progressive detention of children to the promise of progressive biometric ID cards and progressive cradle-to-grave surveillance. New Labour and New New Labour were, of course, both notable for their progressive vision of a multi-ethnic, multicultural, multinational state, in which the Government struggled endlessly but progressively to balance the interests of various multinational corporations against those of Rupert Murdoch, and in which Jack Straw was not afraid to express his progressive gibbering fright at the sight of a woman in Muslim headgear. "When my children and grandchildren ask me what I did in the referendum," blathered Alexander, "I will say that I worked to make real an ethic of neighbourliness in every community, in every street, in every home in our nation." Clearly the fiend Salmond and his minions can have no truck with so progressive an ideal, given their apparent wish to throw it all away and pander to the whims of a few million poll-tax test animals.