The Curmudgeon


Friday, May 30, 2014

In Sure and Certain Hope

A woman who posed as a spiritual con artist has been jailed for ten years after being found to be merely a financial con artist. She took money from her dupes on the pretext that people would dance around it in the Amazon rain forest and then send the money back, thereby solving all worldly difficulties. Instead of contenting herself with a reasonable commission, the enterprising lady appropriated the entire financial sacrifice for herself, thereby opening herself to the charge of fraud. The judge who sentenced her said she had cast a spell over her victims and threatened them with terrifying consequences, and called it "the worst case of confidence fraud I have ever had to deal with or indeed that I have ever heard of" because the victims' lives had been wrecked out of pure greed rather than from any genuine spiritual motivation. Had the putative healer only thought to dress in sackcloth and throw her ill-gotten gains at an established church, all might have been forgiven.


  • At 3:43 pm , Anonymous Freddy el Desfibradddor said...

    A wealthy man on his death bed called his three best friends-- his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer-- to make a final request. "Who knows what I will find on the other side? Just to be sure, I am giving you each one hundred thousand dollars and I ask that you place an envelope with that amount in my casket." All three took the money and agreed to fulfill his wish.

    He died soon thereafter and at the funeral each friend slipped an envelope into the casket. After the burial, the three walked together from the grave. The doctor said, "My friends, I have a confession to make; since the hospital was short of funds for treating the poor I only put 80, 000 dollars in the envelope and donated the other 20, 000 to our indigent fund." The priest then said, "I too have to confess that I gave 50,000 dollars to the homeless and only put fifty thousand in the casket."

    The lawyer looked both his friends straight in the eye and said, "I am astonished and deeply disappointed that you failed to keep your solemn promise to our dear departed friend. I want you to know that I placed in his coffin my personal check for the full 100, 000 dollars."

  • At 4:32 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    I'm not sure I approve of that comment. You shouldn't make anti-lawyer jokes just because 95% of them give the rest a bad name.


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