Soggy in Surrey

Alas for the good folk of Surrey;
By floods they are horribly hit.
If that weren't enough of a worry,
Now Dave has plopped in for a bit.

The water has broken its courses;
But all will be fixed, by our souls,
With old English pluck, market forces,
And one or two kicks at the proles.

The Head Boy finds time to give greetings
With those on whom ill fortune came,
Although he must chair many meetings
To find someone else he can blame.

He lately has been much elated
With sacking whoever's to hand;
So, now the disaster's abated,
He statesmanlike strides on the strand.

He knows that a newspaper column
And photo can be of some use,
In showing him rugged and solemn
And wellied and windswept and puce.

No money, no sandbags, no workers
Are object (at least for his mouth);
For those here in need are no shirkers,
But real people down in the south.

It is a most dire situation,
Which grieves one as much as it moves;
And, since Dave's in for the duration,
Will get worse before it improves.

Carper Squelchy