Making a Posture Out of a Crisis

Britain's Head Boy, who appointed a climate change denier as environment secretary and whose government has been slashing away at the Environment Agency for the past few years, has had a bit of a wheeze about how to deal with the floods. Apparently what has been missing all this time is the calming yet inspiring presence of Britain's Head Boy himself. A local crisis, of course, can be nearly as convenient as a personal bereavement for the proper sort of statesman; and Daveybloke has cancelled a visit to the Middle East in order to demonstrate once and for all that he does occasionally have greater priorities than the convenience of Britain's arms dealers. In addition, whether by accident or by design, the warm-up act had been far too good to waste: it would be a bit of an overstatement to say that Owen Paterson makes Daveybloke look calm and competent, but Eric Pickles certainly enables him to pose as the less blundering of two school bullies.

As for the minor business of dealing with the floods, Daveybloke has lavished praise on the Environment Agency's staff, much as he did with the NHS before letting Twizzler Lansley loose on it. He has brought in the military, since his chums in the private sector are apparently too busy to help. He has promised to ask his chums in the insurance game not to soak victims too badly, and he has proclaimed that money is no object (doubtless the unemployed can spare a bit more), and he has resolved to chair a lot more meetings from now on. Well, I feel drier already.