The Curmudgeon


Thursday, January 23, 2014

Monetarised Incarcerations and Oxygenated Magnifications

Those reliable people at G4S continue to deliver their accustomed Olympian standards of efficiency in the profitable-incarceration boondoggle. G4S, which did such sterling service at the Games that the troops had to be called in, and which is under investigation for taking public money to monitor the activities of dead criminals, ran into a spot of bother three weeks ago at its Oakwood mega-jail. Oakwood is considered a model for the prison system, because it's cheap; and G4S are clearly determined to ensure that the standards of service suit the price. A "concerted incidence of indiscipline," apparently involving actually existing inmates, broke out on 5 January, and according to the company's initial statement lasted for about five hours. This later turned out to be about nine hours, or possibly a few days; but the incidence of indiscipline was not a riot, although it was, according to the company's Chief of Jail Sales, a significant event, although in the spectrum of significant events it was at the lower end; which doubtless explains why it took G4S only a few days, or possibly ten, to clear the matter up. Another significant problem, according to the Chief of Jail Sales, was that G4S is "operating in the oxygen of the media highlight", which means that "everything becomes magnified". Presumably it was this highlighting effect of oxygen upon his eyeballs which caused the chief inspector of prisons to denounce Oakwood last October, because the inexperienced staff who make the place such a model of economy were unable to run it properly. If no-one had been looking, the whole nasty business of the lower-spectrum semi-significant event might only have taken five hours after all.


  • At 10:36 pm , Blogger David OBrien said...

    1 warder to every 60 prisoners apparently; it's total madness. Still, gotta keep the share price up. They interviewed the G4S boss (or someone from G4S) on the radio this morning and he didn't give a f*ck, just kept repeating the 'in the spectrum of significant events it was at the lower end' line until the time was up 'cause he knows nothing's gonna happen and the story will disappear until the next 'concerted incidence of indiscipline'. Is it really gonna be like this? Prisons for profit? Is this really the way it's gonna be at the fag end of western civilisation?

  • At 12:38 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Well, it won't all be bad. There will also be schools for profit, courts for profit, hospitals for profit, probation for profit, police for profit, homelessness for profit, earthquakes for profit...


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