The Curmudgeon


Saturday, November 09, 2013

Tony Helps Out

The Ascended Incarnation of the Reverend Blair, ex-salesman-in-chief of English law, liberator of Kosovo, saviour of Sierra Leone, civiliser of Afghanistan, Great White Hope of Iraq, envoy of tranquility to the Middle East and implacable opponent of almost all unnecessary surveillance, kidnapping and torture, has been telling Kazakhstan a thing or two about good governance. The state of Kazakhstan gave him a two-year contract worth several million pounds, and he clearly hasn't pulled any punches. Two months after his reverence began shining his guiding light, police fired on protestors and killed fifteen. Of course the opposition was to blame; and insurgent ringleaders were duly imprisoned, the feral beasts of the media duly tamed, and the president duly re-elected in a near-Blairite landslide with ninety-five and a half per cent of the vote. A spokesbeing for his reverence proclaimed that significant progress has been made in expanding the economy and sending troops to Afghanistan, which certainly matches Tony's conception of genuine human rights; and Kazakhstan has also given up nuclear weapons, which is certainly more than his reverence was ever prepared to do. That was in 1991, but Tony's office tried to claim credit for it anyway, rather than taint the achievement by leaving it to the Russians. Astoundingly enough, given his uncompromising attitude, Tony's contract may yet be renewed.


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