King and Parliament Blown Up

The Sovereign and the Houses of Parliament were blown up today, causing intense concern among MPs as to whether their expenses claims would be honoured.

Suspicion fell almost immediately on the Papist community, although the environment minister said that the involvement of highly radicalised badgers could not immediately be discounted.

As liberal pundits rushed to define "true Catholicism" against the kind that favours killing off non-Papists, the Pope himself expressed "sincere regret" and appealed for a more constructive attitude on all sides.

Survivors of the blast included the education minister, the Home Secretary and the Prime Minister, who is in Rome helping some friends sell gunpowder.

The Home Secretary was in the Commons when the explosion took place, and ascribes her survival to low immigration and her little tinfoil hat.

While she praised the murdered king for his enthusiasm for witch-hunting, the education secretary paid tribute to the monarch's "generous co-operation" in compiling and publishing the bestselling Gove Bible a few years ago.

The blast also caused extensive reformation of the House of Lords.