Global Junior Prefect Steps In

Some Islamic terrorists have attacked a shopping centre in Nairobi, presumably not in retaliation for Kenya's recent attack on Somalia. While we wait for the Reverend Blair to update us on the subtleties, Britain's Head Boy has called a meeting of the Cobra emergency committee. Of course, much of the Conservative Party thinks that Kenya is still part of the Empire, but our puce-visaged Baby Churchill probably has a more pragmatic motive: the Labour Party conference has just started, and Daveybloke still blames the Milibeing's timid objections for depriving him of the chance to inflict a bit of collateral damage on Syria. Anyway, he had a bit of a burble about how absolutely sickening and despicable it is to kill civilians when one has to do it face to face rather than at the push of a button, and threw in a bit of a blather about theological semantics while he was at it. Those who claim to commit acts of terror in the name of a religion are, it appears, deluded: "They do it in the name of terror, violence and extremism and their warped view of the world". That's what makes them so much more sickening and despicable than white, Western, quasi-Anglican, radical right-wing wog-bombers.