The Sea Wrought, And Was Tempestuous Against Them

Some Christians have been returned to the fleshpots of Arizona after trying to sail to Kiribati and make a new, tax-free life as illegal immigrants. Like our own Lord Carey of Blathering-in-the-Dotage, Sean and Hannah Gastonguay apparently consider themselves persecuted in their own country; and, like so many Christians of the Blathering-in-the-Dotage school, they have found it convenient to disregard the Saviour's injunctions to rejoice, be exceeding glad, and pile up riches in Heaven by doing good to their tormentors. They set out for Kiribati, a Pacific archipelago which will probably disappear in a few decades as global warming raises the sea level. Having sailed for two months and used up almost all their food (God having somehow neglected to rain manna on the boat), they were picked up by the forces of satanic Latin American socialism in the shape of a Venezuelan fishing vessel. They ended up back in Arizona, which must be jolly pleased to have them, owing ten thousand dollars for their flight and, unlike Jonah after his own Divine Hint threw him up near Nineveh, working on another cunning plan.