Making the World an Even Nicer Place

Moralists will be amused to note that the depleted-uranium and white-phosphorous community has come over all indignant about the Assad régime's alleged use of chemical weapons last week. The Nobel laureate for Peace through Drones expressed the customary grave concern, and his little purple prefect in the Poodle Archipelago expressed the customary state of absolute agreement. Daveybloke's special nuncio to Belize and part-time Minister for Wogs, Frogs and Huns, Willem den Haag, proclaimed last week that the attack was "not something that a humane or civilised world can ignore"; and it will no doubt be reassuring to some that there are still one or two abuses which cannot be ignored even in the British Neoliberal Party's idea of a humane and civilised world. Indeed, after the rousing success of the intervention in Libya, which improved things no end and whose benign repercussions were felt as far away as Mali and Westminster, it is difficult to see Britain's Head Boy resisting the urge to propitiate the UKIP wing of his party with a bit of good old-fashioned wog-bombing.