That is All Ye Know on Earth, and All Ye Need to Know

Daveybloke's election strategist, Lynton Crosby, is a lobbyist for tobacco and alcohol firms, and Daveybloke has decided not to legislate for plain cigarette packaging or minimum unit pricing. Daveybloke's election strategist, Lynton Crosby, is a lobbyist for shale-fracking firms, and Daveybloke's best chum has just given shale-fracking firms a massive tax break. Fortunately for the repute and cleanliness of British politics, these are simply benign coincidences; Daveybloke's election strategist, Lynton Crosby, says so, and of course we must believe him. Britain's Head Boy has already issued a few weaselling denials, presumably because Crosby had not yet given him clearance to reveal the full magnificence of his honourable conduct. Now, however, Crosby himself has proclaimed that he did not have any conversation or discussion with Daveybloke on the subject of plain packaging. It would be uncharitable to point out that when a mouthpiece for Big Tobacco gives orders and a jumped-up junior salesman does as he's told, this may not necessarily conform to many people's idea of conversation or discussion. Lynton Crosby is unquestionably telling the truth; the fact is screamed from the rooftops by his very job title, which is so sacred a badge of veracity that it has previously been held by a member of the Murdoch press.