Blessed are the Shiny-Pated Sanctimonious Humbugs

Despite the intrinsic pessimism of the Christian faith, with its unpleasant doctrine that Iain Duncan Smith is partly immortal, it seems there are some comforts. Like George W Bush and his reverend poodle, when confronted with mere facts Duncan Smith can always fall back on belief: the Office of National Statistics may say one thing, but Duncan Smith believes that he believes something else; and furthermore he believes that his belief is true. For whether there be statistics, they shall fail; whether there be mathematics, they shall cease; whether there be integers, they shall vanish away. Indeed, such is the power of belief that Duncan Smith's frère et semblable on the Milibeing team, Liam Duncan Byrne, is expected at any moment to condemn his lack of faith and to demand that he confess the immanent reality of Santa Claus, patron saint of children, pawnbrokers, salesmen and thieves.