The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

That Good News Just Keeps On Coming

Although proper structural investment is forbidden because we are British, the Government has no objection to an occasional flutter within the bounds of theological correctitude. Our present woes, it seems, have nothing whatever to do with people having no money, but only with their not having enough places in which to spend it. Accordingly, the Government has been throwing money at a television presenter to opportunify the vitalisation of various telegenic towns. Several of the towns have apparently been afraid to spend much of the money in case it rains and the Osborne economic miracle suffers another setback; others have spent it all on pig costumes to appeal to local families by reminding them of the Bullingdon Club. One council did manage to provide a team with a catchy acronym, appropriately reminiscent of old-fashioned mafia stereotypes; but on the whole the initiative has delivered in much the same style as the deficit reduction plan, the greenest government ever and the NHS being safe in their hands, and has yielded a healthy increase in empty shopping outlets.

3 Comments:

  • At 8:57 pm , Blogger David OBrien said...

    'Mary Portas's scheme to revitalise ailing high streets has failed to stop the rot'

    I am totally shocked, I had such a massive amount of faith in her, what could possibly have gone wrong?!?

    'Portas has been criticised for failing to visit four of the towns where she was expected to offer "help and expertise". Her office said each town had been contacted to arrange a visit.

    The Guardian also revealed that film-makers working with Portas on her reality TV show, Mary: Queen of the High Street, which featured a handful of pilot towns, lobbied government officials to direct taxpayer funds to particular locations because they would be popular with television audiences.'

    Oh. Oh I see.

    Seriously, this has got to be a joke right?

    Right??

    Todays captcha - Upterf Some

     
  • At 1:10 am , Blogger Philip said...

    Sadly, I think they're serious. The Bullingdon sense of humour runs to trashing restaurants, calling Ed Balls a Touretter and putting laxatives in Nick Clegg's doggy-bowl. This kind of thing is a bit subtle for them.

     
  • At 8:33 am , Blogger David OBrien said...

    Well the whole thing is essentially run like a 'reality' show so I guess no one should be surprised, but it is amazing just how corrupt the thing which is called politics has become.

     

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