Royal Ass

Queen in speech horror amendment fury vote

The Prime Minister could take the unprecedented step of voting against his own government's Queen's speech, a spokesbeing has confirmed.

The Queen's speech, a parliamentary ceremony in which a benefits-claiming relative of David Cameron read out various threats against the poor, serves many democratic purposes.

However, the Bullingdon Club's spring-term essay this year appears to have failed in its overriding function of appeasing the Conservative Party's pro-UKIP wing.

Accordingly, Cameron is considering supporting an amendment condemning his own policy-makers for not being fervent enough about getting out of Europe.

A spokesbeing insisted that the Prime Minister's commitment to a referendum on abolishing the Continent had always been clear, and that he was constantly looking for ways to make it clearer than his commitment to press regulation, the NHS or keeping the planet habitable.

If voting for the amendment keeps his backbenchers quiet for a day or two, it is thought the Prime Minister may decide to vote against the Queen's Speech for not advocating the naming and shaming of social security recipients or summary execution for immigrants.