Venezuelan Spring
Pentagon feels a little safer today
Vicious Venezuelan dictator and demonic pineapple god Hugo Chavez has died after a 21-month battle with capitalism of the pelvis, it was reported today.
Like Adolf Hitler, Chavez ran for office after an unsuccessful coup attempt. As president, he craftily short-circuited the democratic process by repeatedly getting people to vote him into office.
Though popular with some Venezuelans, he alienated Fox News and flirted with existential threats Cuba, Libya and Iran in an attempt to surround and overwhelm the United States with demands for negotiation.
Chavez once referred to the much-elected US president George W Bush as "Satan", thereby inadvertently confirming his own membership in the Axis of Evil.
Widely condemned as a strongman, a show-off and a populist, Chavez leaves behind a doubtful legacy of rotting infrastructure and dependence on oil.
This has horrified Western leaders, whose concern for the welfare of the Venezuelan people is exceeded only by their horror of fossil fuels.
According to Western liberals, his death represents a chance for Venezuela to re-engage with the outside world and establish better relations with more bankable economies.
Vicious Venezuelan dictator and demonic pineapple god Hugo Chavez has died after a 21-month battle with capitalism of the pelvis, it was reported today.
Like Adolf Hitler, Chavez ran for office after an unsuccessful coup attempt. As president, he craftily short-circuited the democratic process by repeatedly getting people to vote him into office.
Though popular with some Venezuelans, he alienated Fox News and flirted with existential threats Cuba, Libya and Iran in an attempt to surround and overwhelm the United States with demands for negotiation.
Chavez once referred to the much-elected US president George W Bush as "Satan", thereby inadvertently confirming his own membership in the Axis of Evil.
Widely condemned as a strongman, a show-off and a populist, Chavez leaves behind a doubtful legacy of rotting infrastructure and dependence on oil.
This has horrified Western leaders, whose concern for the welfare of the Venezuelan people is exceeded only by their horror of fossil fuels.
According to Western liberals, his death represents a chance for Venezuela to re-engage with the outside world and establish better relations with more bankable economies.
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