To a Careers Adviser

I know now: unemployment's really just a state of mind,
And work that's rigorously sought is never hard to find.
The attitude's what matters when it's time to do or die:
Recession and depression merely opportunify.
Team players who can work alone, obedient yet inspired,
Can always find their dream job should they happen to get fired.
Don't talk too little or too much, and never try to fib;
Be the eternal salesman, but don't come across as glib;
Don't be boastful, don't be modest, don't be quiet and don't shout;
Do not presume success and don't allow yourself to doubt;
Be proactive, optimistic and keep marching forth to win;
And always be yourself while making sure you fit right in.
And now that you have taught all this, and now that I have learned it,
I'll treat myself and slash my wrists, because I think I've earned it.

Corpo Pepyap