Poor Little Davey

A teacher of disabled children - though doubtless hardly of Little Ivan's calibre - has been convicted and fined for using threatening words and behaviour to cause harassment, alarm and distress and for exposing a children's choir to the kind of language which is heard in most playgrounds any day of the week. Her crime was to clamber onto a barrier when Daveybloke was switching on the Christmas lights in his Witnit constituency, and to proclaim that Daveybloke has "blood on his hands" because of the harassment, alarm and distress which his government's policies have inflicted upon the disabled. She was manhandled away by the brave boys of Thames Valley police, one of whom stated that her demeanour was "angry, fixated, aggressive and very focused on her intentions", against all reasonable expectations of public protest in a free society. The judge said that her comments could "hardly be more insulting to anyone, whether a politician or not", and ordered her to pay a £225 fine and a "victim surcharge" of £22 to compensate the lying, purple-faced, poor-bashing, Murdoch-licking little squit for his hurt feelings.