The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Keep Calm and Carry On

It's Budget day once more, by golly!
My day for a jape and a jolly,
And kicking of prole,
And digging of hole,
While Beaker sweats joy at my folly!

Now, this one I'll burble with pride!
It's going to be a smooth ride:
No fuck-ups, no gambles,
No great omnishambles,
No grannies or pasties inside!

I want to help Britain aspire
At least to a shallower mire.
I'm the chappie to bet on
If you want to get on
And hire, and - especially - fire.

A Britain with freedom from fear
Of the State: that is my great idea!
With lower taxation
For each corporation,
And for proles, one whole pee off the beer!

It's Budget day, and I'll be fair,
And make tough decisions to spare,
And all due reward
Will go to - good Lord!
Look at Cyprus - just look over there!

Gideon Fatwick


  • At 10:40 pm , Anonymous The Judge said...

    "With the felines allowed to keep fat,
    And our growth - like our beer - to stay flat,
    It is time, with one voice,
    To echo dear Joyce
    And firmly say, "George? Don't do that!""

  • At 4:32 am , Blogger Philip said...


  • At 6:26 pm , Anonymous The Judge said...

    I've just been re-reading some of those collections of misprints and odd notices put together by Denys Parsons in the 50s, and came across a notice from a Conservative Association's Garden FĂȘte which seems to illustrate that some things never change:

    "The Chancellor of the Exchequer will be speaking at 5 pm.
    Beware of pickpockets."


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