Doing the Nigel

Britain's Head Boy has been dog-whistling for the UKIP vote, with the expectable result that his statistics have turned out redolent of a certain Faragean counterfactuality. Daveybloke blathered that Euro-wogs were stealing our NHS to the tune of ten to twenty million a year (a mere Gove in the bedpan from a budget of over a hundred thousand million), only for his Minister for Health and News Corporation to issue a prominent correction. Daveybloke blathered that immigration was "badly out of control" and that the taxpayer had been "endlessly paying for" Euro-wogs living it up on Jobseeker's Allowance while the bankers go hungry. As it turns out, net wog intake from eastern Europe since 2004 amounts to two million people, of whom only thirteen thousand have availed themselves of the DWP's generosity. Daveybloke blathered of a forty per cent increase in the number of social lettings taken up by wogs, but somehow neglected to mention that this represented an increase from six and a half per cent to a hardly tsunamic nine. Finally, Daveybloke blathered about the "global race", by which he doubtless meant the spherical pink breed (with an occasional hint of puce) to which all the best people belong; but the core vote had almost certainly got the message long before then.