When You Can't Nostalgify, Infantilise

A spokesbeing at the Environment Agency has done its bit to keep the country going with the announcement of a massive public works programme to lessen the risk of flooding when the snow melts. Rather than just keeping calm and carrying swimmingly on, the spokesbeing suggested people should come out from behind their blinds and build snowmen to slow the thaw. "If you notice, when people clear their drive the snow thaws away but the compacted piles stay," the spokesbeing proclaimed, conveying the complex via the homely in the best Ministry of Public Information spirit. However, in the great tradition of the Department for the Environment during the greenest government ever, this spokesbeing was then overruled by another spokesbeing who said that it wouldn't make much difference after all. Fortunately for Triple-Dip George's ongoing economic recovery, few resources were wasted as the private sector had not yet leapt into the breach.

Me at Poetry-24
Royal Pardon