Poor Old Thrasher

Daveybloke's former prefect, Andrew "The Patrician" Mitchell, has been squealing for justice in that profoundly scrupulous organ of truth, the Murdoch on Sunday. With hindsight, the matter seems so obvious. Mitchell, it will be remembered, is a politician, so of course he isn't a liar; he is a member of the Conservative Party, so of course he isn't a toxic lout; he was chief whip over three hundred braying oafs, slimy bigots and thrusting young incompetents and wanted to stay in the job, so of course he isn't a loud-mouthed bully. Acutely aware of the injustice of having been stitched up by the police despite his lack of melanin, Mitchell worries that his little misfortune may not be an isolated incident: "If this can happen to a senior government minister, then what chance does a youth in Brixton or Handsworth have?" Doubtless many such youths would rejoice at Mitchell's reinstatement, in the sure and certain knowledge that he would not forget their plight, or at any rate not for a minute or two.