Chinless Landlords, the Hope of our Nation

Britain's Head Boy has had his tuck-box monitors sneaking around behind his coalition partners' backs and promising to defeat plans which the Deputy Conservatives thought were still under negotiation. The Conservative treasurers, Lord Fink and Michael Farmer, sent a begging letter to donors and potential victims of the proposed mansion tax, which would have plunged anyone who owned property worth more than a couple of million into anti-entrepreneurial poverty. "A tax on property is a tax on ambition and aspiration," squealed the letter; one shudders to think of the rhetoric should anyone propose a tax on trust funds. The letter then offered a range of forums with dashing, ambitious, aspiring names, which cost up to £10,000 to join. This, no doubt, is a considerate measure to avert embarrassment at being seen to support the Conservative Party: the political equivalent of an internet porn distributor charging one's credit card to Discreet Billing Enterprises, Ltd. The president of the Deputy Conservatives had harsh words about the whole business, calling it "pretty incredible"; which shows that two and a half years with his head in the prefects' toilet has dulled neither Tim Farron's political edge nor his rapier wit. He also promised to continue making the case for a mansions tax, which doubtless set the Bullingdon Club quivering with something or other.