Working and Hurting

Well, here's a thing: despite the eructations of Lord Freud, who doubtless works hard and plays by the rules as much as any investment banker ever does, it appears that poverty is quite often not a lifestyle choice and can on occasion affect even potential Guardian readers. The Joseph Rowntree Foundation claims that higher employment figures, even when not particularly fiddled, have failed to solve the problem of poverty thanks to an arcane economic mechanism whereby people become poorer the less they are paid. Fortunately, however, a spokesbeing for the Department of Workfare and Privation has asked around and discovered that four-fifths of those working part-time do so for purely selfish reasons, despite all the full-time jobs famously created by Triple-Dip George and his chums in the private sector. In addition, it transpires that any remaining difficulties will be resolved by Universal Credit, which will not only procure fairer wages and better conditions and lift hundreds of thousands out of the Slough of Despond, but will also guarantee better summers, eliminate garden pests, win England the World Cup and gain Iain Duncan Smith a third-class diploma from the Emerald City Vocational College; so that's all right.