Impotence Rampant

In accordance with the husky-hugging principles of the greenest government ever, George the Progressively Osborne has vetoed a Deputy Conservative plan to introduce a de-carbonisation target for later administrations to ignore; hence the Deputy Conservative energy secretary is proclaiming a famous victory. Ed Davey (not to be confused with Ed or Davey) has also been snubbed by Britain's Head Boy himself, whom he petitioned to remove the ridiculous John Hayes for making statements against coalition policy. Since the Deputy Conservatives themselves have been happy to tear up those parts of the original coalition agreement which did not agree with the Real Conservatives, Daveybloke has saved his condescension for the Euro-wogs and has not even bothered to reply. It is just possible that Davey's panic about the possibility of judicial reviews had some influence on Daveybloke's rant to the CBI last week, during which he promised to abolish judicial reviews if they didn't start doing as they were told; but the Bullingdon Club has never really needed any help from the Deputy Conservatives when it comes to circumventing the law. Still, as a measure of compensation Ed Davey (not to be confused with Ed or Davey) has now been granted permission to write letters to the National Grid, which is certainly a triumph.