Badger Badger Badger Moron Moron

Daveybloke's new environment secretary, who was recently shuffled in to replace the moderately disastrous token female Caroline Spelman, has postponed a scheduled badger cull. There has been a rise in bovine tuberculosis, and the Conservative Party's instinct in such circumstances is usually to kill something: it gives the rural constituencies a nice warm feeling and helps to keep the chinless vote onside. Badgers are far too numerous and apparently spread disease, much like the sort of people who habitually use the National Health Service; unlike the plebs, however, it seems that badger numbers cannot be properly controlled if left entirely to market forces and the Big Society. Owen Paterson explained the postponement by extensive referral to George Osborne's list of excuses: the weather, the Olympics and various meddling members of the aforementioned Big Society. One rarely expects much from a Conservative environment secretary, but Paterson seems rather far from the brightest and the best even by Bullingdon standards: a man of such brilliant acumen that he can't even formulate a straight denial that he's a climate change crank. Paterson stressed that the Government remains committed to the slaughter, in full conformity with Owen Paterson's understanding of the science involved: thirty-two scientists have recommended reconsidering the whole idea, but the demands of faith-based evidence take precedence as always.