The Curmudgeon


Monday, September 03, 2012

Leader in Waiting

I am sure we all remember David Davis, the peculiar right-wing Conservative who likes to offer himself as living proof that being raised on a council estate by a single mother can have results fully as disastrous as a normally-radioactive nuclear family. Davis was one of the contenders in the last party leadership contest, during which he emanated such bizarre toxicity that Daveybloke decided he would be just right to shadow the Home Office; a function Davis resigned in order to pursue an odd, sub-Boris publicity stunt on the pretext of fighting for civil liberties. Since then, Davis has presumably been active on the back benches, rallying the dim disaffected; now, on the eve of the first reshuffle not to be forced on Daveybloke by the idiocy or crookedness of his underlings, Davis has popped up on the hated BBC, spraying useful advice like a tomcat perfuming the curtains.

As one would expect, Davis would like the Government to change its policy, but in essentially the same style as Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition: whereas Labour think the Government should do exactly as it has been doing only a bit slower, Davis thinks the Government should do exactly as it has been doing only a bit faster. Although Osborne's mugging of the economy has somehow managed to obtrude itself upon the Davis awareness, his recommended treatment for the resulting coma is simply to administer more and harder kicks in the head, supplemented with such predictable extra hobnails as tax cuts for corporations and the gradual abolition of National Insurance. Davis apparently did not mention capital punishment and the public flogging of wheelchair users; which was rather an unfortunate oversight, since that would almost certainly have made the Liberal Democrats happy to sign up to it all.


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