Setting an Example

As with your welfare riches you're relaxing,
Or spending a nice weekend stacking shelves,
Just spare a thought, if it is not too taxing,
For those less lucky than your horrid selves.

Beneath our city bridges you're reclining;
You decadently dream of Portaloos,
While our Head Boy is dutifully dining -
A job no Bullingdon can well refuse.

While the Atlantic crashes like the markets,
He sits a while and slurps a pint of ale,
And meditates upon the next month's targets:
His chums' backsides, so chubby and so pale.

He wears his polo togs for scoffing mussels,
Because he knows it turns on all the dames,
And means that he can show off all the muscles
He got from jinxing athletes at the Games.

With praise for proles and peasants who are working,
He toddles Cornwall with his trophy wife,
And checks to see that nobody is shirking,
And wonders in whom best to stick the knife.

Why can you not do more, O idle nation,
To try and be more British, and maintain
The cringing worship worthy of your station
While Dave and his show-pony brave the rain?

Prisi Skidmore-Trussdom