It'll Do Until A Shambles Comes Along

Britain's largest ever peacetime logistical operation received resounding confirmation of its Britishness today, as the latest in a long sequence of bizarre nasties to occupy the Home Office stood up in the House of Claimants and denied that the G4S shambles was a shambles. Being the minister ultimately responsible for security at the Games, Daveybloke's mad old cat lady denied that she had any responsibility for security at the Games. This may explain why she did not consider it necessary to attend the meeting where it was decided to make up the private contractor's shortfall by cancelling the leave of men recently returned from Afghanistan - doubtless a preliminary in many cases to handing our brave boys their redundancy notices and placing them on workfare. Possibly the Home Secretary was too busy reading about asylum seekers in the Daily Mail; or possibly she had a touch of Osborne-Smith syndrome and decided that a junior minister-shaped shield was an acceptable substitute for a human one. Nor could the Home Secretary say whether she knew anything about the G4S recruitment schedule, or whether she had simply trusted to the infallibility of the private sector in accordance with the religious doctrines prevalent at Westminster. She also refused to specify what penalties, if any, will be imposed on the security firm for making such an exemplary non-shambles of the affair. Most likely she is waiting for the head of G4S to tell her.