Family Valuables

Like everything else, family life is a hobby for the wealthy and a duty for the proles; while for immigrants, it is an excuse for evading their merited deportation and remaining to pollute the purity of our Britishness. Hence, Nick Clegg has reached an agreement with Daveybloke's barmy old cat lady to throw immigrants out according to their income. Of course, Wee Nicky himself is married to a wog, but he is rich enough for it to be morally defensible. As regards lesser breeds, Daveybloke's barmy old cat lady has ordered the courts to interpret Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights as the Daily Mail would wish it interpreted; which is to say, from behind the moth-eaten Wizard of Oz curtain that is "national interest". Britain's leading liberal newspaper states that the Home Secretary "first promised action over Article 8 at the Tory party conference last year, when she cited the case of a Bolivian man and his pet cat", but tactfully refrains from noting that the citation was based on a work of fiction in the Daily Mail. Back in the evidence-based world, human rights lawyers and other pests - more than one of them coloured, I'll be bound - have warned that there could be legal challenges under Article 8; fortunately, the taxpayer will cover the Government's costs, and if all else fails Daveybloke can always veto the Continent again.