Returning to the Scene of the Crime

Now that the British public has endured five years of penance under his two repulsive successors, the Ascended Incarnation of the Reverend Blair has decided that the time for his second coming is at hand. Tony is prepared to forgive us for being nasty to him about Iraq, and is making noises about "re-engaging" in the UK, particularly now that his Olympics are drawing nigh. A spokesbeing for the Upper (formerly Lower) Miliband said that Tony was "a very big, successful Labour figure who won three general elections" while losing only a few servicepersons, Labour party members and other matters of little consequence. Since leaving office, his reverence has mixed "charitable and business projects" (God-bothering and profiteering, in Standard English) and has occupied much of his time with bringing peace to the Middle East, which obviously has been working like a charm. Since Andy Coulson is otherwise engaged, his reverence has appointed a press agent so that he can play the elder statesman "without re-entering domestic politics and interfering with the Labour Party". An optimistic conclusion might be that Tony intends running for Archbishop of Canterbury or joining the Liberal Democrats.